Dad Jokes 
Get ready to laugh out loud! Here’s a collection of 100 of the best jokes ever told, guaranteed to brighten your day and leave you with a smile. These jokes cover a range of styles—from puns and one-liners to classic setups. Let’s dive in!
1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
2. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
4. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
5. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
6. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner!”
7. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
8. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
9. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
10. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
11. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
12. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go!
13. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!
14. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
15. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
16. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
17. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
18. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A necktarine!
19. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
20. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
21. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy.
22. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose!
23. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
24. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
25. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
26. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent!
27. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
28. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
29. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investi-gator!
30. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated!
31. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
In case he got a hole in one!
32. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
33. Why did the music teacher go to jail?
Because she got caught with too many sharp notes!
34. How does a lawyer sleep?
First, he lies on one side, then he lies on the other!
35. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
36. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
37. What do you call a factory that makes good products?
A satisfactory!
38. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
39. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
All of the fans left!
40. What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple!
41. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
42. What did one hat say to the other?
“You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
43. Why did the banker switch careers?
He lost interest!
44. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
45. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
46. Why did the man run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
47. Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!
48. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain!
49. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out!
50. What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician!
51. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
All of the fans left!
52. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
53. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
54. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
55. Why do we never tell secrets on a farm?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
56. What do you call a bear that’s stuck in the rain?
A drizzly bear!
57. Why did the computer break up with the internet?
There was too much buffering!
58. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
59. What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?”
60. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side!
61. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
62. What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
A spec-tater!
63. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they always use honeycombs!
64. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
65. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
66. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
67. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!
68. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
69. Why was the broom late?
It swept in!
70. Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
71. Why did the man put his money in the blender?
Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
72. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi!
73. How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall!
74. What do you call a fish that practices medicine?
A d-octor fish!
75. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
76. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
77. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
78. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
79. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You might think it’s R, but it’s the C!
80. Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
81. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school!
82. Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
83. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs?
A condescending con descending!
84. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
85. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
86. What’s a dog’s favorite city?
New Yorkie!
87. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice!
88. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
89. Why was the belt arrested?
For holding up a pair of pants!
90. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
91. What do you call a group of musical whales?
An orca-stra!
92. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
93. Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open!
94. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
95. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investi-gator!
96. Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
97. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
98. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side!
99. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
100. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy!
Enjoy sharing these jokes with friends and family! They’re sure to bring some laughter and lighten the mood wherever you go.