100 jokes

Get ready to roll your eyes and chuckle with these 100 jokes ! jokes are classic for their cheesy punchlines and light-hearted humor. Perfect for any occasion

1-20: Knock-Knock Jokes

1. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Lettuce.
   Lettuce in; it’s freezing out here!
2. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Olive.
   Olive you and I miss you!
3. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Boo.
   Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
4. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Tank.
   You’re welcome!
5. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Atch.
   Bless you!
6. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Canoe.
   Canoe come out and play?
7. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Orange.
   Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
8. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Doughnut.
   Doughnut forget to smile!
9. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Harry.
   Harry up and answer the door!
10. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Tank.
    You’re welcome!
11. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Nobel.
    Nobel… that’s why I knocked!
12. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Ice cream.
    Ice cream every time I see a scary movie!
13. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Mikey.
    Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole!
14. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Lettuce.
    Lettuce have a great day!
15. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Annie.
    Annie body home?
16. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Alpaca.
    Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
17. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Butter.
    Butter let me in or I’ll freeze!
18. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Cargo.
    Car go “vroom vroom”!
19. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Boo-hoo.
    Don’t cry; it’s just a joke!
20. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Hatch.
    Bless you!

21-40: Dad Jokes

21. What do you call fake spaghetti?
    An impasta!
22. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
    They don’t have the guts!
23. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
    She looked surprised!
24. How does a penguin build its house?
    Igloos it together!
25. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese!
26. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
    Because he was outstanding in his field!
27. I would avoid the sushi if I were you.
    It’s a little fishy!
28. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
    Because she will let it go!
29. I used to play piano by ear,
    but now I use my hands!
30. Why did the bicycle fall over?
    Because it was two-tired!
31. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
    Because they might crack up!
32. I’m on a seafood diet.
    I see food and I eat it!
33. What did one wall say to the other wall?
    I’ll meet you at the corner!
34. Why did the coffee file a police report?
    It got mugged!
35. How do you organize a space party?
    You planet!
36. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
    Because it felt crummy!
37. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
    Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
38. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
    In case he got a hole in one!
39. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
    He just needed a little space!
40. Why did the math book look sad?
    Because it had too many problems!

41-60: Light-hearted Jokes

41. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    A gummy bear!
42. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
    Because it had a virus!
43. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
    Dam!
44. Why was the broom late?
    It swept in!
45. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
    An abdominal snowman!
46. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
    Because all the fans left!
47. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
    Frostbite!
48. What did one hat say to the other?
    You stay here; I’ll go on ahead!
49. Why did the tomato turn red?
    Because it saw the salad dressing!
50. How do you make a tissue dance?
    Put a little boogie in it!
51. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
    In case he got a hole in one!
52. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
    Because they make up everything!
53. Why was the math book sad?
    Because it had too many problems!
54. How do you catch a squirrel?
    Climb a tree and act like a nut!
55. Why did the chicken join a band?
    Because it had the drumsticks!
56. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
    “Hey, bud!”
57. Why do cows wear bells?
    Because their horns don’t work!
58. Why did the picture go to jail?
    Because it was framed!
59. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
    Because she’ll let it go!
60. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
    Frostbite!

61-80: Animal Jokes

61. Why do ducks have feathers?
    To cover their butt quacks!
62. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    Fsh!
63. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
    Because they are shellfish!
64. How do you organize a space party?
    You planet!
65. Why did the cow go to outer space?
    To see the moooon!
66. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    A gummy bear!
67. Why did the cat sit on the computer?
    Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
68. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
    Kitty Perry!
69. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
    Because then they’d be bagels!
70. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
    A pouch potato!
71. Why did the dog sit in the shade?
    Because he didn’t want to become a hot dog!
72. What’s a cat’s favorite color?
    Purr-ple!
73. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
    To talk to the other side!
74. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
    An investigator!
75. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite!
76. How do you catch a runaway dog?
    Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone!
77. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
    “Put it on my bill!”
78. Why did the horse go behind the tree?
    Because he wanted to change his jockeys!
79. Why don’t dogs like fast food?
    Because they can’t catch it!
80. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
    A carrot!

81-100: One-liners

81. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers!
82. I’m on a whiskey diet… I’ve lost three days already!
83. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure!
84. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something!
85. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
86. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
87. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction!
88. I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual!
89. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
90. I would make a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy!
91. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough!
92. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!
93. I’m friends with all the electricians I know. We have good current connections!
94. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist!
95. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough!
96. I’ve just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap!
97. I’m no good at math, but I know that 100 jokes is a lot of laughs!
98. My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” I said, “No it doesn’t!”
99. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me!
100. I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients!

Enjoy sharing these jokes with friends, family, or anyone who could use a good laugh!