Dad Jokes 
Welcome to the ultimate collection of 100 Bad Jokes! These groan-worthy quips are sure to elicit eye-rolls and chuckles in equal measure. So sit back, relax, and prepare for some pun-derful moments that are just so bad, they’re good!
1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
2. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
4. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
5. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
6. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated!
7. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go!
8. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
9. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
10. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
11. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investi-gator!
12. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
13. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
14. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
15. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
16. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
17. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
18. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-tain!
19. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
20. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
21. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy!
22. What do you call a factory that makes good products?
A satisfactory!
23. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
24. What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
25. Why did the music teacher go to jail?
Because she got caught with too many sharp notes!
26. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I-scream!
27. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they always use honeycombs!
28. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
29. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
30. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
31. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent!
32. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
33. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school!
34. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
35. Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
36. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
37. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!
38. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
39. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant!
40. Why was the belt arrested?
For holding up a pair of pants!
41. What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
42. Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because you can see right through them!
43. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
44. Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
45. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
46. Why did the bee get married?
Because it found its honey!
47. How does a train eat?
It goes chew chew!
48. What’s a computer’s favorite snack?
Computer chips!
49. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi!
50. What do you call a fish that sings?
A bass singer!
51. Why did the man put his money in the blender?
Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
52. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
53. Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?
There was no chemistry!
54. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
55. Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice!
56. What do you call a superhero with a bad sense of direction?
Wander Woman!
57. Why did the rubber band refuse to play the piano?
Because it didn’t want to get stretched!
58. How do you organize a fantastic space party?
You planet!
59. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
60. What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
61. Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
62. Why did the firefighter wear red suspenders?
To keep his pants up!
63. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
64. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
65. What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
66. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose!
67. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
68. Why did the computer keep freezing?
It left its Windows open!
69. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
He had no body to go with him!
70. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
71. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A necktarine!
72. What do you call a lazy puppy?
A “pup” out!
73. Why did the crab never share?
Because he was shellfish!
74. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
75. Why did the man put his money in the blender?
Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
76. What did the police officer say to the bad guy?
Stop, in the name of the law!
77. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
78. What’s green and has wheels?
Grass! I lied about the wheels.
79. Why did the dog sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to become a hot dog!
80. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!
81. What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
82. Why was the broom late?
It swept in!
83. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
All of the fans left!
84. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
85. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
86. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
87. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved!
88. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels!
89. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
90. Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
91. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
92. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room!
93. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
94. What do you call a snowman’s dog?
A slush puppy!
95. What do you call a sad coffee?
A depresso!
96. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
In case he got a hole in one!
97. What do you call a cat that throws all the most expensive parties?
The Great Catsby!
98.Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
99. What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is popcorn?
100. Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!
There you have it—100 bad jokes that are bound to bring a smile (or a groan)! Share them with friends, family, or anyone in need of a little laughter. Enjoy!