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Get ready to roll your eyes and chuckle with these 100 jokes ! jokes are classic for their cheesy punchlines and light-hearted humor. Perfect for any occasion
1-20: Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce in; it’s freezing out here! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive you and I miss you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
You’re welcome! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Atch.
Bless you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe come out and play? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut forget to smile! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry up and answer the door! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
You’re welcome! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel… that’s why I knocked! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream every time I see a scary movie! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce have a great day! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie body home? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter let me in or I’ll freeze! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Car go “vroom vroom”! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo-hoo.
Don’t cry; it’s just a joke! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hatch.
Bless you!
21-40: Dad Jokes
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta! - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts! - I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised! - How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together! - What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese! - Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! - I would avoid the sushi if I were you.
It’s a little fishy! - Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go! - I used to play piano by ear,
but now I use my hands! - Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired! - Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up! - I’m on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it! - What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner! - Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged! - How do you organize a space party?
You planet! - Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy! - Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels! - Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one! - Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space! - Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems!
41-60: Light-hearted Jokes
- What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear! - Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus! - What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam! - Why was the broom late?
It swept in! - What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman! - Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
Because all the fans left! - What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite! - What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here; I’ll go on ahead! - Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing! - How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it! - Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one! - Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything! - Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems! - How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut! - Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks! - What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“Hey, bud!” - Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work! - Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed! - Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go! - What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite!
61-80: Animal Jokes
- Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks! - What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh! - Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish! - How do you organize a space party?
You planet! - Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon! - What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear! - Why did the cat sit on the computer?
Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse! - What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
Kitty Perry! - Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels! - What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato! - Why did the dog sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to become a hot dog! - What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple! - Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side! - What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator! - What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite! - How do you catch a runaway dog?
Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone! - What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill!” - Why did the horse go behind the tree?
Because he wanted to change his jockeys! - Why don’t dogs like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it! - What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
81-100: One-liners
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers!
- I’m on a whiskey diet… I’ve lost three days already!
- I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure!
- I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something!
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
- I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction!
- I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
- I would make a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy!
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough!
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!
- I’m friends with all the electricians I know. We have good current connections!
- I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist!
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough!
- I’ve just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap!
- I’m no good at math, but I know that 100 jokes is a lot of laughs!
- My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” I said, “No it doesn’t!”
- I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me!
- I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients!
Enjoy sharing these jokes with friends, family, or anyone who could use a good laugh!