If you’re looking to tickle your funny bone while sipping a drink, you’ve landed in the right spot! Drunk jokes are a classic staple in comedy, perfect for bringing laughter to parties, gatherings, or just a night in with friends. So, let’s pour ourselves a glass of giggles and dive into this collection of side-splitting jokes that are sure to get everyone laughing!
Why Drunk Jokes Are Always a Good Idea
Drunk jokes tap into that universal experience of letting loose and having a good time. Whether you’ve been there or heard stories, these jokes resonate with anyone who appreciates a good laugh. So grab your favorite drink, sit back, and let’s get ready for some rib-tickling humor that’s sure to leave you in stitches!
30 Hilarious Drunk Jokes
1. Why did the drunk guy bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What’s a drunk’s favorite game?
Tippy-toe!
3. Why don’t drunks ever play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you can’t stand!
4. What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
“Olive or twist?”
5. How do you know if a person is too drunk?
When they start giving history lessons on their drink preferences!
6. Why did the drunk man apply for a job at the brewery?
He wanted to become a brew-tiful employee!
7. What do you call a drunk who loses their phone?
A cell-abration!
8. Why did the drunk man fall off the bar stool?
Because he was too busy checking his reflection!
9. What did the wine bottle say to the cork?
“You really know how to hold me together!”
10. Why did the drunk guy go to the beach?
He wanted to catch some waves… of alcohol!
11. What did one drunk say to another at the party?
“I can’t remember if I’m having a good time or just drunk!”
12. Why did the drunk man keep staring at the can of orange juice?
Because it said “concentrate!”
13. How did the drunk man ask for a ride home?
“I need a lift—preferably one without a hangover!”
14. What do you call a drunk cat?
A purr-suasive drinker!
15. Why do drunks hate the alphabet?
Because they can’t get past the “L” in ‘liquor’!
16. What did the bartender say when the drunk tried to pay with a rubber band?
“This isn’t going to stretch far enough!”
17. Why don’t drunks ever get locked out?
Because they always have a spare key… to the bar!
18. What did the bottle of whiskey say to the beer?
“You’re too hoppy for me!”
19. Why do drunks make terrible detectives?
Because they can’t keep their stories straight!
20. What do you get when you cross a drunk and a mathematician?
Someone who can’t count but can definitely calculate their buzz!
21. Why did the drunk refuse to play cards?
He was afraid of getting dealt a bad hand!
22. How do drunks make decisions?
They always flip a coin… then drink to it!
23. What do you call a sober person at a bar?
A designated driver!
24. Why did the man bring a suitcase to the bar?
He heard he could get packed!
25. What’s a drunk’s favorite musical?
“Hair Spray!”
26. Why do drunks make good storytellers?
Because every tale gets a little more “spirited!”
27. What did the drunk say when he woke up in a tree?
“I guess I took my party to new heights!”
28. How do you know if you’re too drunk to drive?
When your GPS is giving you directions… to the bar!
29. Why did the drunk take a nap on the bar?
Because he wanted to wake up refreshed and ready for round two!
30. What’s a drunk’s favorite exercise?
“Keg stands!”
Conclusion
Drunk jokes are always a hit at any gathering, and they never fail to bring out the laughter. Whether you’re sharing a drink with friends or just need a good chuckle, these drunk jokes will keep the fun flowing. So next time you’re at a party or out with friends, don’t forget to share these hilarious quips for a guaranteed good time! Cheers!