Dad Jokes 
Get ready to laugh! Here’s a collection of stand up jokes that will make you chuckle, groan, and maybe even question your life choices. Whether you’re performing at an open mic or just looking to lighten the mood, these jokes are guaranteed to deliver some punchlines!
1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised!
2. I threw a boomerang a couple of years ago.
I know live in constant fear!
3. I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
He said nothing!
4. I told my computer I needed a break.
Now it won’t stop sending me to the beach!
5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
6. My friend said, “I can’t believe you got fired from the calendar factory!”
I said, “I took a day off!”
7. I used to play piano by ear…
But now I use my hands!
8. I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already!
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised… and a bit shocked!
11. What do you call a factory that makes good products?
A satisfactory!
12. I have a fear of elevators.
I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them!
13. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
14. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke,
But you didn’t like it!
15. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems!
16. I used to be indecisive.
Now I’m not sure!
17. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places!
18. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
19. I wanted to lose weight,
So I went to the bar and told them to keep the drinks light!
20. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Feel free to share these stand up jokes at your next gathering or just use them to brighten up your day! Remember, laughter is contagious, so spread it around!