Dad Jokes 
If you’re into deadpan humor, then Steven Wright jokes are right up your alley. His unique style of delivering dry, witty one-liners has made him a comedy legend. Whether you’re a long-time fan or new to his world, these 20 Steven Wright jokes will leave you grinning and scratching your head at the same time. Let’s dive into his quirky genius!
1. I spilled spot remover on my dog.
Now he’s gone.
2. I intend to live forever.
So far, so good.
3. What’s another word for “thesaurus”?
I really need to know.
4. I bought some powdered water.
But I don’t know what to add to it.
5. I woke up one morning and couldn’t find my socks.
So I called Information. She said, “They’re behind the couch.”
6. I put instant coffee in a microwave.
I went back in time.
7. I have a large seashell collection.
Maybe you’ve seen it. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world.
8. I went to a restaurant with a sign that said, “Breakfast Anytime.”
So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
9. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
Now I’m lost.
10. I installed a skylight in my apartment.
The people who live above me are furious.
11. I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier.
I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
12. When I was a kid, we had a sandbox in the backyard.
It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
13. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.
14. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.
You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
15. I wrote a song, but I can’t read music.
Every time I play it, I hear something different.
16. I have an inferiority complex.
But it’s not a very good one.
17. I put my headlights on high beam.
Now everyone in the car behind me looks really short.
18. I went to the bank to open a joint account.
I told them I wanted to open it with anyone who has money.
19. I have a map of the United States.
It’s actual size. I spent the summer folding it.
20. I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
He was too fast.
There you have it, 20 Steven Wright jokes that capture his dry, absurd humor. His quirky take on everyday life has a way of making you think—and laugh—at the same time. If you’re ever in need of some good deadpan comedy, just remember these Steven Wright jokes. They never fail to hit the mark!